Just some rubbish...

Upon reading my last posts, I have decided to make a change.  I know right, I've only had two posts and I am already changing things up.  Well I do not like parts of what I saw.  Just like I did not like parts of me this past week.  But, by the grace of God, it has been revealed to me through scripture, circumstance, and just plain out God's voice that I needed to solve said problems.  So, here goes everything.

I do not want this to be about me--at all.  I do not want my life to be about me at all.  I want my life to be His life.  He can have it, for He would do much greater things than I could ever imagine.  I do not want low self-worth.  I want His self-worth.  I want to be humble.  I want to stop using "I want."  Actually, upon conversing with mi Padre this past week, He pretty much told me straight up, "Lou, stop telling me what you want!"  So, I am now in the process of attempting to cease all use of the phrase "I want" in my prayers.

I am admittedly overly proud and always have been since I can ever remember.  In high school I was an athlete, a straight A student (nerd), a friend to many, a... lot of things.  The athlete part is what kills me (thank you, Satan).  While I worked hard and remained passionate while doing so, was that really me working?  No.  Is it really me working now?  No. Not at all.

The devil still loves to enter into spiritual warfare in my brain and tell me that I am the reason I have succeeded, have friends, have a life worth living, have done what God says, etc. etc. ETC.  I have done nothing and yet this past week I have loved to take credit for it.  On the very first mission trip I ever went on, to Henderson, Kentucky, there was a phrase that they kept pounding into our heads:

"It's not about us, it's about God."

This life and its utmost entirety is about Him.  He created the world and His beauty is demonstrated every second of everyday in every aspect of every place.  Intricately divine, He is.  So, if Christ is high above all things, what does that leave me, as I myself am a thing?

"What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ." --Philippians 3:8

He makes all other things lost.  I am included in the thing category.  I must lose myself, only to fully gain Him and all of His surpassing greatness.  I am rubbish and I am proud.  Oh wait... Gosh, this is hard.

I believe that pride is the root of all sin.  I know that I sin a lot, therefore I have a lot of pride.  Rubbish.  That is what I am.  But, by God and all of His glory, if the world is rubbish (myself included), that makes Him a God, a Creator, a Healer, a Miracle-Worker, a Blesser; that makes Him higher than anything else. That makes Him.. Awesome! Powerful! Almighty! Beautiful! Infinite! Better than words!

"He must become greater, I must become less." John 3:30

LMB