Make War

This post may be rambling, jumpy, and make no sense.  Oh hey, that's kind of how I've been lately!  But enough about me.  I was just giving a fair warning, my friends.

I have been thinking a lot about spiritual warfare lately, which is kind of ironic considering that is a whole lot of what spiritual warfare is about--thoughts.  Well, I guess I haven't really been thinking about it, I've been experiencing it...which has made me think about it... ANYWAY.

Basically, there are real demons and real angels fighting against each other in real time.  Oh yes, it is quite legit.  I have read C.S. Lewis's "The Screwtape Letters" (which I would recommend any day of the week) and am currently reading a book called "The Beginner's Guide to Spiritual Warfare" (which a pretty awesome girl in my bible study let me borrow) and both have really made me fascinated by the thought of oppressive spirits entering my brain against my will and manipulating my thoughts.  Intense stuff, I tell you.

The thing about thinking is that you can do it anywhere at anytime about anything.  If we are living, we are thinking.  Or rather, if we are thinking, we are living.... Hmmm. (<classic psychology major quote??)

I picture in my head little demons sitting at laptops with the whole headphone-microphone duo strapped to their heads viewing statistical data of what in the past has made me act one way or the other and how to manipulate my actions according to my thoughts.  They proceed to try to figure out how to make bad things worse and good things bad.  Not the things in essence, but the way I react to those things.  What a system!  I can see them in my head right now-- reviewing notes stored in the "Inner Lou" database and sipping little lattes to keep themselves awake.  I do not like them.

I can also picture this huge earthquake, rapturing (oh hey pun) the little nerds causing them to yell frantically and in another language, like German would be really cool.  But seriously, it's like God just shakes them out from under their seats and grabs the little rolling chair and does the whole slow motion slide to right in front of the mother computer screen.  And with appropriately themed action music, He then hacks the whole system, "restores my soul" (oh hey Psalm 23:3), and saves the day. Yayyyyyyyyy.

Okay, so that is not exactly how spiritual warfare works.

It is intense, really intense.  It is a battle.  It is dangerous.  It is discouraging. It is ongoing. It is conquerable.

Oh God, how you conquer all things.

For who is God besides the LORD?
And who is the Rock except our God?
It is God who arms me with strength
and keeps my way secure.
He makes my feet like the feet of a deer;
he causes me to stand on the heights.
He trains my hands for battle;
my arms can bend a bow of bronze.
You make your saving help my shield,
and your right hand sustains me;
your help has made me great.
You provide a broad path for my feet,
so that my ankles do not give way.
I pursued my enemies and overtook them;
I did not turn back till they were destroyed.
I crushed them so that they could not rise;
they fell beneath my feet.
You armed me with strength for battle;
you humbled my adversaries before me.
You made my enemies turn their backs in flight, and I destroyed my foes.
-Psalm 18:31-40

Will we be sleeping?

Oh little town of Bethlehem
Looks like another silent night
Above your deep and dreamless sleep
A giant star lights up the sky
And while you're lying in the dark
There shines an everlasting light
For the King has left His throne
And is sleeping in a manger tonight

Oh Bethlehem, what you have missed while you were sleeping
For God became a man
And stepped into your world today
Oh Bethlehem, you will go down in history
As a city with no room for its King
While you were sleeping
While you were sleeping

Oh little town of Jerusalem
Looks like another silent night
The Father gave His only Son
The Way, the Truth, the Life had come
But there was no room for Him in the world He came to save

Jerusalem, what you have missed while you were sleeping
The Savior of the world is dying on your cross today
Jerusalem, you will go down in history
As a city with no room for its King
While you were sleeping
While you were sleeping

United States of America
Looks like another silent night
As we're sung to sleep by philosophies
That save the trees and kill the children
And while we're lying in the dark
There's a shout heard 'cross the eastern sky
For the Bridegroom has returned
And has carried His bride away in the night

America, what will we miss while we are sleeping
Will Jesus come again
And leave us slumbering where we lay
America, will we go down in history
As a nation with no room for its King
Will we be sleeping
Will we be sleeping

United States of America
Looks like another silent night

This night is tonight!  So incomprehensible.  I have found myself saying "Thank You. Thank You.  Thank You." a thousand times today because I don't know what else to say.  It dumbfounds me which is awesome because it makes me smile at how great God is and how unknowing and shallow-minded I am.  Yeah, we have laughed a lot together tonight.

Please take the time to read the above lyrics.  This song by Casting Crowns puts things into a totally new perspective and I like it!

We close our eyes to sleep.  We can't see with our eyes closed.  Let us be awake!  Awake, searching for him restlessly!  Let us see His face. Let us...hurry.

So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. -Luke 2:16

Let's go! We must hurry off to see Him like the shepherds did!  I am excited to see His face!  The same baby who would later save us all!  A baby.  Innocence forsaken upon that cross... (Wow, random Hillsong lyrical interjection!)  But, it is true.  The body lying down peacefully in a manager is the same one that was later plastered painfully to a cross.  Baby or man.  He came.  And I have to see Him.

I am tired of sleeping. < I don't know what that is... like an oxymoron or something?  But really.  How can I sleep with so much going on?  How can I close my eyes with such beauty right in front of my face?

I don't want to miss any of Him.  He is moving.  And my eyes are open.

Thank You. (A thousand and one)

Invisible goodness!

I have this really annoying habit of trying to create in my mind the way things to come are going to work out.  Well, it's more like a sin, trying to play God because my way would really really please me.  I have all the answers.  I really dislike pride.

Wow, my human is really showing today.

In case you haven't noticed, I have quite the divergent mind.  Quite scattered.  Quite never-resting.  It is pretty much all over the place.  It is in the past.  It is in the present.  It is in the future.  While planning ahead is seemingly desirable in a lot of cases, for me, it can become disastrous.  I want (not a good word) things to go my way or highway 74.  My way is never right and it never happens.  It is always better.

Praise God!

Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know. -Jeremiah 33:3
 
Unsearchable.  That is my favorite word in that verse.  Mainly because it is basically a slap in the face to those of us, like myself, who like to try to guess or mentally invent what we want to happen in future events.  I love when God brings me back down to earth (baby pun).  We can't even begin to know what is going to happen!  We can't find it in our thoughts--it is unsearchable!  You can look and look and conjure up all of your most creative and extravagant thoughts, and you still won't even scratch the surface of what God has planned because it is no where but in His possession.  It is not readily available on aisle 7.  He holds the unsearchable.  How mysterious.  I like it; I like it a lot!

This post is short but this is some pretty hefty stuff and some good meditating material.

In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps.  -Proverbs 16:9

Planning and stepping are two totally different activities...

Good ol' Proverbian follow up!

Merry (almost) Christmas!

LMB

I am full of earth and dirt and You

So much is happening in Shelby and in my life and in my heart and everything and this is going to be another one of those stream of consciousness "and and and" posts... I can already tell.

Praise God!

I don't know if you read the season post I wrote a few days ago, but the season aftermath is pretty much doubling everyday.  If you are big into math, that is an exponential relationship (I think).  I am sure there is a formula out there somewhere.  I was never good at math.

God is so big it is incomprehensible.  I always call Him big, but I never really thought about it seriously until recently.  I realize that I have so much of the world in me that it sickening.  I also realize that God is a healer.  God is quite the large healer at that.  He is way bigger than the world.  Let's think about this literally.  Please prepare yourself for many mental pictures.  Picture a simple person like yourself.  Now picture that person eating the world (yum).  That is what we have done.  By design.  You and me.  If we were perfect and worldless that would leave Him no different than the rest of us--meaning that He would not be a God and oh, is He a God! Now that you have a disturbingly obese picture of yourself in your head, picture yourself being swarmed by a presence.  Like a wind.  More like a force.  This force is surrounding you as you turn in circles with a very confused look on your face.  All of a sudden, the force attacks you, enters you unmercifully until you can no longer stand.  And now you are not confused.  You are just dazed (yes, there is a difference...in my head...).  You then return slowly to your feet and realize that you are tens times skinnier.  But-- you are also ten times heavier.  Get it?  Me neither. (I tried)

God makes the world seem so small.  While we are inevitably a part of this wicked world, He is willingly a part of us.  While the world is still in us, it seems a small, baby, minuscule part of us, like one little blood cell of world or something.  And then God, so big and so constant, flows through every vein inside of our bodies until our hearts are bursting with Him and His hope and His promises and His love!  He engulfs us until we feel so full of Him that we are forced to act, forced to love, forced to forgive.  His force forces us.

This makes me kind of happy.  (<sarcasm)  This makes me want to scream and jump and love and hug and sing and dance and do ridiculous and embarrassing things that I would only do for my Creator!  I was reading in Malachi today and there was a verse that made me laugh with God.

"But for you who revere my name, the sun of righteousness will rise with healing in its wings. And you will go out and leap like calves released from the stall." -Malachi 4:2

What an awesome image that is!  So happy and joyful and free and liberated and carefree and released.  I want to leap and I want other calves (people) to leap with me!  From my stall of sin and evil and wickedness and pride and Satan and hate and pain and hurt... I am released!  Just saying that makes me want to jump up and down right now!  I think I shall.

Really cool song to jump up and down to--

The lyrics are wonderful and go along with this post.  Yeah, I am a nerd and like to synchronize.

I am full of earth
You are heaven’s worth
I am stained with dirt, prone to depravity
You are everything that is bright and clean
The antonym of me

LMB

And and and and and and

God did a lot of cool stuff in my life today.  Well, He does everyday, so what else is new. Actually... it's all new.  Everyday it's something different.  Ahh, I love our spontaneous relationship.

Today was really about the obvious.  You know, the obvious things that we know the Bible says and that we know that God can do like move mountains and make lame people walk and blind people see and sinners come to know His unending mercy.  I have sung so many worship songs that proclaim all of these things and so much more and I have read numerous stories and circumstances in the Bible about all of the miracles that God has performed and the ones that are still to come and I have seen with my own eyes (which no one can refute) crazy, amazing, indescribable things that God has done already... and yet.  I still doubt sometimes.  I hate doubt (Satan) and I hope I am not alone.

Forgive me for using the word "and" way too much right now.

But... that is how I feel ahora!  Like God is just telling me "I can do this and this and this and this and don't forget that and why don't you believe that I can do that too!"

Jeremiah 33 is what I read today.  A pretty hefty passage with a lot of God being God and saving Judah and Israel.  I see Judah and Israel as myself and more recently, some other people in my life (praise God).  He can and did save them.  He can and did save me.  He can and WILL save whoever else I bring to Him.  I must believe.  He has His own time, His own way, His own power.  I cannot do anything except for pray and have faith and I can't even do that enough, knowing that He does what He says He will because He is God and loves His children with a love great enough to crush any oppressor that crosses our paths.  There are lots of oppressor-encounters... God is a busy guy!

Favorite part of what I read today:

"I will bring Judah and Israel back from captivity and will rebuild them as they were before. I will cleanse them from all the sin they have committed against me and will forgive all their sins of rebellion against me."

That would be verses 7-8.  Those four words jumped out at me.  Mainly, because there is only one person who is able to do those things.  And there is only one person who is willing to do those things.  And He uses those words within a two sentence spectrum.  He can do so much!  It should be obvious!

I find myself wanting to slap myself in the head and say "Duh Lou!"  Only thing is, I am kind of weak and my head is kind of sensitive, just sayin'...

God is so good.  To use a special book to teach us things that other books cannot teach us.  No other book I own can speak.  This book speaks.  This God speaks.  And He will do.

I realize that I did not write many complete sentences tonight.  Again, I blame God for overwhelming me.  And now we are laughing together.

Laugh with Him!

LMB

There is season (turn, turn, turn)...

To all of my faithful readers who check this blog hourly in hopes of a new post, I am sorry. I have been slacking. In a lot of aspects. For realz. However, now that my brain has de-fried I am back to my little writing world. And thank goodness, because my brain has been stuck on radiational cooling and analysis of variance and la aspiradora. Studying for my exams pushed all of my normal random and varied thoughts into the back of my head. This was not good. My brain was bursting out of my ears. The only way to relieve that feeling was to get rid of some of the thought-overload. Ignorantly, I tried to wait it out until after my exams, that way I could just forget all of that class-related information, then go back to thinking about the good stuff, like God and beauty and love and trees. It was obvious that God wanted me to learn more than just what I needed for my exams. So enough about me...

The season has changed dramatically here over the last week. Which is quite fitting, considering I was in a different season this past week. I have never been one for cold weather--both literally and spiritually. Seasons are seemingly inevitable, nevertheless they are quite difficult for the growing Christian. However, they are also necessary in my opinion. Of course, my opinion is kind of worth 4 pennies. 5 on a good day. And sometimes a nickel if you're lucky.

Anyway, God, being the awesome and constantly present God that He is, was trying to teach me. It took me about five days, but I finally came to my senses. Actually, He brought me to my senses. I'm not usually much of a lister when I write, but to throw in something different (Oooo!) and to be more pleasing to the eye, I will continue to say that God has taught me (and is still teaching me) about three main things:

Numero Uno: Time is God's
So time really isn't a factor in heaven. Maybe that is why time with God on earth is so important. In heaven, you can just worship God endlessly with no other obligations. On earth... it should be the same...?? Time confuses me, as it should because I am not supposed to understand everything because that is God's job. Mainly, it was only five days I spent without really speaking to God and yet it felt like long and trying months. Not even joking. So what does that tell us about time? That it really is precious? (< eww cliche, but true) Or that even a second without God is painful? Because we live on a painful earth because it is just that--earth, and not heaven...

Letter B: He is My Priority
I can say all day long (unintended reference to above paragraph) that God is first in my life always. Of course, this is a constant struggle and a necessary one that I praise God for. If I was not constantly tested and put through bitter five day eternity-ish seasons with harsh winds and maximum radiational cooling (ahhh MEA 130), I would be content. And if I was content with God, I would not have to seek Him. And if I did not seek Him, I would not find Him. And if I did not find Him, I would not... be with Him? And if I am not with Him, I am against Him...

He who is not with me is against me, and he who does not gather with me, scatters. --Luke 11:23

Ahh!! I do not want to scatter!!

Thirdly (I have never been good at lists):  Constant Prayer is Necessary

I will be vulnerable and say that this season was full of guilt.  Guilt of not using my time wisely and not prioritizing, and just straight out not talking to God, my Father.  The only way for God to show me that I needed to do all of these things was for Him to literally come into my already busting head and force me to clear it.  I ended up having an extreme catharsis which was quite strange and slightly ridiculous.  I can now laugh with God and say thank You for making me sound like a blubbering idiot.  Love you!  No, but really.  Thank you, God.  He was basically telling me to talk to Him to relieve some of my troubles or else they would all flow out unintentionally in public in an untimely manner.  Oh yes.  He was with me even when I had almost nothing to do with Him.  Who else would do that? My Savior is marvelous.  Sólo Dios puede salvar.

This is what happens when I do not write for a while!  I will be praying for guidance and simply typing what God is putting on my heart.  Seasons will still come.  Embrace them when they do.  Luckily, it's the most wonderful time of the year...

LMB

Shekinah!

I learned a new word AND it's in another language! Exciting, I tell you.  Shekinah, Hebrew meaning, "The majestic presence or manifestation of God which has descended to 'dwell' among men," has enlightened me.  This Shekinah glory is what I thirst for.  Actually, I believe that all humans were created for this type of intimate, surrounded-ness feeling.  The word dwell makes my heart race.  If only I could attain His majestic presence and manifestation!  He is among us!  And so, in this life I am no longer satisfied, but in search of His Shekinah glory my life has found purpose, purpose so much that it is no longer a life, but is now a living sacrifice.

I hope my stream of consciousness is not confusing you.

God is overwhelming me today!

Upon venturing to college, I have felt Him more than I ever have before, praise God.  My life has turned into an adventure; I now live life on the edge. YES.  I have always been into extreme things!  But this is not about me, remember...

He dwells among us and by no mistake after learning this word, I opened my bible today only to read a song of praise issued in Isaiah.  Isaiah 12... makes me happy.

The very last verse, verse 6. says:

Shout aloud and sing for joy, people of Zion, for great is the Holy One of Israel among you.

...among you. Yes! Have I lost sight of this?  My church from home is Zion Baptist.  So inevitably, every passage I read that references Zion instills a deeper connection in me.  All churches experience problems and spiritual warfares and also happiness and praise.  The former two are no match for His Shekinah.  He still dwells among Zion.

This video is credit to my newly found knowledge of Shekinah.  I now long for this, search for His glory to dwell among NC State.  Zion.  Raleigh.  Shelby.  Lee Hall.  The world.

I really can't dance but I really want to when I hear this song.  I know that God will be clapping (and laughing) with me, or rather, I with Him in His glory...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gpgRmDeNBeY

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Just some rubbish...

Upon reading my last posts, I have decided to make a change.  I know right, I've only had two posts and I am already changing things up.  Well I do not like parts of what I saw.  Just like I did not like parts of me this past week.  But, by the grace of God, it has been revealed to me through scripture, circumstance, and just plain out God's voice that I needed to solve said problems.  So, here goes everything.

I do not want this to be about me--at all.  I do not want my life to be about me at all.  I want my life to be His life.  He can have it, for He would do much greater things than I could ever imagine.  I do not want low self-worth.  I want His self-worth.  I want to be humble.  I want to stop using "I want."  Actually, upon conversing with mi Padre this past week, He pretty much told me straight up, "Lou, stop telling me what you want!"  So, I am now in the process of attempting to cease all use of the phrase "I want" in my prayers.

I am admittedly overly proud and always have been since I can ever remember.  In high school I was an athlete, a straight A student (nerd), a friend to many, a... lot of things.  The athlete part is what kills me (thank you, Satan).  While I worked hard and remained passionate while doing so, was that really me working?  No.  Is it really me working now?  No. Not at all.

The devil still loves to enter into spiritual warfare in my brain and tell me that I am the reason I have succeeded, have friends, have a life worth living, have done what God says, etc. etc. ETC.  I have done nothing and yet this past week I have loved to take credit for it.  On the very first mission trip I ever went on, to Henderson, Kentucky, there was a phrase that they kept pounding into our heads:

"It's not about us, it's about God."

This life and its utmost entirety is about Him.  He created the world and His beauty is demonstrated every second of everyday in every aspect of every place.  Intricately divine, He is.  So, if Christ is high above all things, what does that leave me, as I myself am a thing?

"What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ." --Philippians 3:8

He makes all other things lost.  I am included in the thing category.  I must lose myself, only to fully gain Him and all of His surpassing greatness.  I am rubbish and I am proud.  Oh wait... Gosh, this is hard.

I believe that pride is the root of all sin.  I know that I sin a lot, therefore I have a lot of pride.  Rubbish.  That is what I am.  But, by God and all of His glory, if the world is rubbish (myself included), that makes Him a God, a Creator, a Healer, a Miracle-Worker, a Blesser; that makes Him higher than anything else. That makes Him.. Awesome! Powerful! Almighty! Beautiful! Infinite! Better than words!

"He must become greater, I must become less." John 3:30

LMB