There is this really sweet prayer that has somehow gone undiscovered in my life until now. And praise God for revelation because it is surely a good one. I mean, it has enlightened me in so many ways already and I seriously JUST started praying it. As undeserving as I am for being blessed to witness His almighty goodness of simply an answered prayer (which He can do with one hand behind his back, upside down, on days that don't end in "y", [insert cheesy restriction here], etc.), I am intrigued with letting God show off. I mean, my God is legit. My Papa don't play. Okay, I hope I built up some suspense.
Well basically, I have recently been introduced to the prayer of self-awareness. I decided to start praying for this because He has completely captured my heart in such a way that I will strive to live an unhindered and obedient life at all costs. I will fail, because I am not perfect because I am flesh and not God and I will fail. My failures are my lessons, and my lessons are only lessons if they are made aware to me that I am learning something from them. Catch that? Basically, Satan is continuously planting thoughts into our heads that make us justify what we are doing, thinking about, wanting to do, whatever, that may not be of God as okay because of this excuse or that overlooked status quo. By praying for self-awareness, I am basically saying:
God help me to know when I am sinning and when Satan is attacking my thoughts and make me realize how to stop it.
Sometimes (a lot) I compartmentalize my sin and make it glamorous by adding "but" and "because" to my explanations as to why I am doing something. As if adding more of Satan's deception to something is going to make it prettier. Yeah, okay.
With my newly found and awesome prayer, might I add, I have already caught myself in the act of sinning. The most prominent of this type concerning my thoughts. If I think about anything, and I mean anything, more than or with higher regard to how I think about Jesus, it has got to go. So when I would start to think about how I want (<bad) something to work or how I would do something, or perhaps even more vulnerable and displeasing thoughts, I would just let it build up until I am no longer living in my heart (where Jesus resides), but in my head. No me gusta.
Radical transformation/ God's grace of answered prayers: This past week when I had started thinking about whatever it was that was a barrier between me and God I seriously heard things like "Stop" or "Think about me instead" in my head. It is absolutely ridiculously awesome. And some of this is some of the exact same stuff that I used to glamorize and let build up, but now, He is stopping it at its root! Who else can do this? Who else is like the Lord?
In addition to this new wisdom that He has instilled in me by His graciousness, this prayer has also been answered in the form of recognized pride (which yes, is a sin, so am I not just being redundant? but it is highly prominent in my life and often becomes masked within my daily routine/personality of intense sarcasm) <I am not sure if any of that makes sense, but it does in my head... Back to pride/self-righteousness--A number of times this past week, He has definitely uncovered the dirt of daily life that has been hiding my pride. Actually, looking back this past week alone, I apologized to two different people after being made self-aware of issues of pride concerning things that have previously been unnoticed, no big deal. Before praying this prayer of self-awareness, I would have never apologized for those instances, for they seemed hidden in who I was, only to be uncovered by who God is. Praise, praise be to Him in the highest!
I definitely encourage the prayer of self-awareness as I have already seen God do amazing things concerning it! I will say, though, that this is a raw prayer of wall-breaking, which means that the potential for worldly pain through self-revelation is quite existent. But, who needs the world, anyway?
Comic relief after the above mood killer: While we are on the topic of prayer, I was praying last night aloud in my room and I heard myself say something that made me laugh for like...a really long time. I mean, it was obvious that God put those words in my mouth for a good laugh. I was praying for a group of young people I know and said something along the lines of, "Please help them to have that burning desire for you constantly. Don't let them just have that camp fire..." And then I couldn't even finish because I realized that I said the word campfire without meaning to and maybe it's not that funny but God and I laughed for at least five minutes.
Prayer and Campfires,
LMB
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