*Disclaimer--While I am aware that sarcasm does not transfer well via written and/or typed documents, I will admit that despite efforts to tone my increasingly dry, sarcastic demeanor down a bit while writing this it somehow forces its way out onto the paper. I tried. Kind of.
Oh, look at me. Blogging. Shall I play croquet next? Or, perhaps I should sip organic tea while I read something popular yet completely senseless, like Twilight. By the fire. In a robe. Pushing it too far, am I? Gosh, I knew the day would come. All of my high school friends, you knew it too! And I know that the FIRST thing all of you want to do is read my never-ending thoughts. Maybe that way you will be able to understand exactly why I act in mysteriously strange ways. Well... unfortunately you will never understand that. For even I do not understand that--BUT read along anyway, my friends.
So much has happened in my life since I have been in college. More correctly, rather, I should say so much has happened to my heart. And you say, "Lou, you have only been in college for three months. Freshman." While this is cierto y no falso (I like to keep my writing multicultural), I can undoubtedly say that I have never felt like this before. Now, when you read that last phrase, you have to read it like "I have never felt like this before." I am a psychology major, which all too often can be revealed by my oddly evident curiosity and interest in human emotions and thought processes. But when I say felt, I mean, my heart has never been in this position before, poor thing. This is not my doing, for I could never in a thousand years piece together emotions such as this. Actually, I could never in 19 years...
This is what I have been missing?! How did I ever live without it? How did I ever live without Him? I believe in feeling what is happening and not just letting it happen. Embrace your inner world, for its mysteries can reveal an eternity. His mysteries can reveal an eternity. (Quote me on that mess!) He lives in me, so I must visit often.
Getting too deep? Or too long, either one. Human language cannot describe something so... see I do not even have the right word to use! My good buddy C.S. Lewis once said, "Don't use words too big for the subject. Don't say 'infinitely' when you mean 'very'; otherwise you'll have no word left when you want to talk about something really infinite." So while my words are insufficient, my heart cannot lie. I can feel Him. A feeling like no other indeed, it's like He is ripping open my chest unmercifully and grabbing my heart with His hand and shaping it. Relentless transformation. I never felt it until now. It is hurting. He is loving me so much it hurts. Beautiful pain. Reminds me of this crucifixion-type deal back in the day...
I will close by saying congrats if you read this far. "Bless your heart." Speaking of hearts... how is yo's?
Romans 8:37-39 is where it's at, yo!
Lou
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