I have been reading this book for quite some while now, and yesterday I ran across something that has caused me to stumble a bit. I am currently reading Beth Moore’s Breaking Free, which has to do with liberation and freedom and everything else that is going on in my life (God’s perfect correlation). This question, though, was clearly from God, because it was never directly addressed in the book. It was hidden. But somehow I kept thinking about it and God kept reminding me of it! It was blowing my mind.
While reading about how to give up hindrances that may subconsciously be creating a barricade between us (followers) and God, Moore kept saying “Ask God to show you…”
I’ve done that before. And I feel like every time I do it I get thrown into something that I do not want to be in. I get handed the skeletons of my past, things that I do not even think twice about because I do not want to. You know, those things that you are reluctant to pray about because even the thought of them causes your stomach to stir and your mind to shift.
Or maybe even those things you don’t think about because you don’t realize that they are even existant. Those invisible walls. Those things that are obviously a part of your life, but you are completely oblivious to the fact that they are affecting your relationship with the Father. Those things we cannot know...without His help.
As I was asking God to reveal to me certain things discussed in the book, I stopped and thought, "Wait a second. Do I really want to do this? What if He shows me something I do not like? What if a disgusting sin starts bubbling up and conquers my thoughts and my life and I get trapped in self guilt and can't get out of it ever ever ever just because I asked God that one simple favor!?" (Good thing He showed me why this Easter would be different!)
^Kind of a dramatic effect.
But anyway. I caught myself wondering why I would even risk the possibility of an uncomfortable situation, just because....
Because why?!
I can say I am perfectly comfortable with my relationship with God at a certain period in time. Nothing is blatantly wrong. I sing and smile and laugh and dance and learn and seek and love and why would I ever want to endanger that?
Because I want to please the Father. Because His love is unfailing. Because He keeps no record of my sin. Because a relationship with Him is the best thing I have. Because He gives life in all its fullness. Because He amazes me with His perfect plans. Because any wall that hides me from God is something I never want in my life.
Because I cannot describe all He has done.
A good friend of mine and I had a discussion a few weeks ago about comfort. We were talking about how the concept of spiritual comfort is very ironic. When we are most physically comfortable, we are typically not as spiritually comfortable as we could be. When we are most spiritually comfortable, we probably just went through a ridiculously awkward situation in this world trying to share the gospel with someone or (something of the sort) and needed God's help A LOT.
This is insane. So when we are most comfortable in this world, we are not as comfortable with God because we are not forced to cling to Him as tightly. And when we are most uncomfortable in this world, we are forced to cling to God extra tightly, so that we can feel the comfort of His right hand that He so graciously gives when we ask.
How the heck does this work!?
Guess that answers that.
I will risk discomfort in this world, if it means I will feel comfort from my Father.
Oh, the comfort He brings.
Good thing God is smart, because that was a question I was unable to handle.
I still kind of like pondering it.
What a God, what a Savior. He surely examines our hearts. He surely makes us do crazy things. He surely makes us take risks.
He surely makes beautiful things out of us.
LMB
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